remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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