Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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