You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize