am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
