ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Randomize
