is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I understand Curling. That high.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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