I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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