Your face is a jimmy john
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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