Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
dude. I can hear the air.
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