this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
