i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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