Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Ketchup is God's man juice
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize