Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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