you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
