we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
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She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
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Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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