Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
