So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
