just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
