so that wasnt chicken after all
I should be sponsored by Trojan
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
