If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
