he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
We are all done wearing pants today
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
