he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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