it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
