Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize