I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
now i know why i became what i already was.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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