Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
