i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
