Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
