Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
