I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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