i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
