Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
