It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I understand Curling. That high.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
