he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
