There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
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do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
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You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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