Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Randomize
