she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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