singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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