why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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