this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
