you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
