if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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