I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
This baby is an asshole
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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