and next time when you feel me up, do it right
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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