wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
