I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
