was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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