My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
