omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
