sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
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