Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
You're like the curious george of whores
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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