I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
im holly from the hills drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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