Michael Bay diarrhea
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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