Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
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Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
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You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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