I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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