Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
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