You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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