so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
You are the jesus of drinking
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize