Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
