how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
