if i died would you start the facebook group?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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