Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
