I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
