just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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